October 10, 2011 Thoughts

For almost four days, my life has been going on the same routine. The same, inconsistent routine.

Ever since I lost my phone, I had a sense of peace inside me. It’s like my phone was a form of noisy office, a grumpy boss, or a paranoid wife, screaming at me every time I held it in my hands. Every second of my day-to-day activities, it was in my hand. Meaning? My life was loud and vague, until it disappeared for good.

Though I had my nights when I wondered, if people still bother to text me, once in a while. I had no idea what was happening on the mobile side, that’s why the necessity to frequently go online was a need, though there was still a part of the mobile life that could not be recovered by the internet. So I kept wondering about those people in my phonebook. Has something bad or good happened to them? Thank god if there is. Thank god if there isn’t.

Ever since the start of this four-day fiasco in my head I badly wanted some of the people that I know, gone. I wanted them to evaporate, but the only possible way was graduation. Ahh finally, a familiar reason to pursue studying. It’s like high school all over again, and it really was right that no matter what school you end up going to, if your attitude about life and the universe is still the same, you’d still be a loser. Huh, finally, I was right about one thing in my life, and for once. I never wanted to be.

Coffee has been a big help. It’s been like a helping hand to me, after every sip of its hot caffeine goodness. It’s been months since I had avoided coffee, for some unknown or forgotten reasons. And I feel like it was a month of regret. Ideas started pouring from my brain every once in a while. The urge to write came very often too, or is it maybe because I wanted to make money out of this? I have no idea. It just felt like if I wanted to say something, it was all coming out. Here it is, here you go.

But the things and stuff that I wanted were still the same. And no matter what, I still kept them very clear in my head. I wanted them to be, so that one day they would materialize in front of me and then I would have something to fully thank about. It’s not like I don’t thank for the thing that I get every day, or being an ungrateful bastard. I actually thank for the things and stuff that I have and had experienced throughout my whole day. I truly do. So if you’re reading this right now, know that in my heart you have my wholehearted thanks. And that I would like to congratulate you for finishing these thoughts that race through my mind.

Here it is. Here you go.


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